‘Fish with Acute Stress Disorder’

‘Green Slimy’

‘Toadside Bomb’

‘The Fraggle Hunter’
(original/limited prints available)

‘Fraggles in the Opium Den’
(original/limited prints available)

I’ve tried to dance my cares away, drink my cares away, sleep my cares away, fornicate my cares away, and obviously even paint my cares away. Nope… they’re still there. So fraggles, you can all go to hell.

‘Evil Psychotic Bunny from Hell’

‘Bunny with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome’

‘Unlucky Rabbit’

I had a dream about a rabbit about a week ago. It told me that the rabbits wanted me to come live with them in their underground tunnels and paint drawings on the walls. I told them there were a couple problems with this, 1) I’m way too big to fit in their tunnels, and 2) They might not like what I draw. The rabbit told me that what I said made sense and that they weren’t thinking straight. Silly rabbits.

‘Bong bong bong bong bong bong…’ (original/limited prints available)

‘Ohhh! Crackwhore!’ (original/limited prints available)

The problem with a theme like the Yip Yips is that EVERYONE loves them and is going to get all excited and say to me “Oh oh oh! You should totally paint a picture of them with ________ “. Please don’t do that.

‘Beer Buddies’ (original/limited prints available)

‘Friday Night Sermon’ (original/limited prints available)

‘Boba, Bert & Ernie’ (original/limited prints available)

‘Zombies on Coffee Break’ (original/limited prints available)

‘Zombies Together Forever’ (original/limited prints available)

People are loving zombies these days, something I plan to exploit this year to the max. Actually, I wrote a ‘zombie themed‘ blog entry for my clinic blog that sort of ties in here. Hey, I’m not against a little shameless cross promotion if you aren’t.

‘Boba Fett Discovers Smurf Village’ (original/limited prints available)

‘Rainbow Bright, Completely Annihilated on Tequila, Discovers Smurf Village’ (original/limited prints available)

I’ve got so many backlogged paintings to post, you’ll have to forgive my lack of supportive wit-saturated writing over the next while. Yeah I know, everyone comes here for the articles, but you’ll just have to make due looking at the pictures for awhile. Poor you.

… well kind of, but I did it for you, really. You see, last year at the outdoor art show people kept giving me shit for not doing prints. The reason I haven’t done prints in the past is because it felt cheap and I didn’t want to lessen the value of the originals. However I’ve sold my soul and decided to make special edition prints of all my latest crap. I won’t be making prints of work I’ve already sold so don’t bother asking.

Here’s how this will work, I’ll be making a limited edition print run of new pieces. They’ll be printed nicely and individually stamped, numbered and signed. The originals will still be for sale. As for the originals, I have another surprise for you… all my recent work is painted on ELEPHANT POO PAPER! No kidding, paper made of shit. Wow, life just couldn’t get any better.

Hopefully I’ll be accepted into the outdoor art show again this summer and then everybody can rejoice in my selling-out-ness and the real pretentious art douchbag collectors out there can fight it out over the ‘shit paper’ originals. A-fucking-men to that.

I’m back! Woot!

‘Apocalyptic Beer & Burger Weekend’ (sold)

‘Suave Demon Seducing Angelic Bimbo’ (sold)

‘Hangover Eggs, Coffee & Barf Bucket’ (sold)
 

Xmas is around the corner, and that means I’m getting flooded with commissions. You wouldn’t believe the things people ask me to paint for gifts… it’s blasphemous! In the end however, someone has to do it. You see, it’s a sad reality but, the world needs a reminder once and awhile that life has a dark side. That behind every breakfast there’s a hangover, behind every burger there’s a heart attack, and behind every bimbo there’s a broken heart. On a lighter note, someone might as well get paid for it, right? Woot!!

“Ninjas at all day breakfast”

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a ninja. These days there doesn’t seem to be a lot of work for ninjas though, so I guess it’s just as well I became an astronaut instead.

‘Zombies Discussing the Meaning of Life’ (sold)

It’s 7:30 am on monday morning… I just made my morning cappuccino (purely on reflex). Let me give you a glimpse into my life. 3 months ago, on a random grey morning like today, I mindlessly sat at my computer and ended up stumbling across this lovely little thought:

“In philosophy, reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or might be imagined. In a wider definition, reality includes everything that is and has been, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. A still more broad definition includes everything that has existed, exists, or will exist, not just in the mind, or even more broadly also including what is only in the mind.”

You see!? This is why I don’t post very often… because I read things like this and then put myself into a 3 month muse induced philosophy-coma. Then when I finally snap out of it, the profound summation of my mind-numbing ponderings is:

“Hmm… what would the definition of ‘life’ be to a zombie?”

It’s hard being me.

‘Eggs Benedict Thrice Served’

‘Kermit on Acid’

Anyone who bothers to follow this blog should know by now that I’m bad at being an artist. In fact I’m such a punk that sometimes, just to fight against all convention, labels and expectations, I’ll NOT be an artist! How’s that for an artistic statement. That’s right. I’m deep. Ok whatever Jesse, above are a couple pieces submitted to the Square Foot Show. Yes, I decided to temporarily be an artist again. Don’t bug me.

‘The Beer and Burger Truce’ (sold)

Lets talk burgers. Burgers are pretty awesome. Meat in a bun… I mean, how much more poetic can you possibly get? Burgers are also a good analogy of life. Yep, we’re all just slabs of meat temporarily positioned between the buns of life. Here one minute, gone the next. So remember to contemplate the profound nature of a burger next time you fire up the BBQ! *sigh* It brings a tear to my eye… it’s great being on the top of the food chain.

‘Jesus with Near Beer’ (sold)

Summer’s here, and that means… it’s time to drink beer on patios! Unless you’re jesus, who’s first recorded miracle was changing water into wine:

“And He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; For this is My blood of the New Testament which is shed for many for the remission of sins. But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in My Father’s Kingdom”

Yep, apparently they drink a lot of wine in heaven… but sorry Jesus, down here on earth, you get stuck with near beer. Haha.